Smurgle
by flor-desu
Summary: I for one think 'love' is just an overrated feeling." Natsume ponders about what 'love' is all about. "You just say that because you haven't experienced it yet." with a little help from Mikan.


"**Smurgle****"**

I don't think I've ever been in love…

And I don't really get what the whole fuss about it is anyway. I mean people just speak about it like the most wondrous thing in the world and yet I don't think even one person has actually seen it…

Although I could be wrong… as if that could ever happen.

I for one don't actually understand what is so incredible about it; it seems to me that 'love' is just an overrated feeling.

Polka keeps telling me I just say that because I haven't experienced it firsthand.

Well what does she know? I don't think she is in love with someone. She wouldn't just fall in love with some random guy right? Though that sounds just like her...

I can already picture her approaching some hormone ridden teenager and innocently following him to a dark secluded place and then him trying to take advantage of the poor defenseless little girl and then of course who would have to come to the rescue? Me!

But that's okay, let's just leave it up to Natsume to go to save Polka and burn the horny moron's skin off for even considering laying a finger on her because, let's face it, Natsume doesn't really have anything better to do than being clueless Polka's bodyguard… not at all.

I meant that in a sarcastic way… don't misunderstand.

That is a very plausible outcome considering how she's always living in the clouds. Honestly what would she do if I wasn't around to protect her all the time?

I should warn her about the dangers of getting involved with hormone ragging teens... That'd save me a lot of trouble later.

You see Polka, guys don't think about love like girls do. There's only one thing on their mind when they look at a girl, and it's not exactly flowers and candy or holding hands and watching the sunset… That's what I should tell her.

Although I think she'll probably ask what they are thinking about and I don't think I should be the one explaining 'what'.

Ugh I bet it's that bastard Andou she fell for! I've seen the way he looks at her and he can't be thinking anything good. I still remember the way he hugged her during the Alice Festival, if only I knew what he was thinking right then I-.

And what is she even thinking falling for an idiot like him! Isn't he too old? I bet he's a pedophile, why else would he be into a girl like her?

I even rather she fell for me and having her clinging to me all the time than seeing her with a possibly dangerous psycho like him. Who knows what he could try do with that Alice of his? Even thinking about it makes my blood boil.

I'll kill him; if he ever tries to do anything to her I'll definitely kill him!

I can't believe her! How could she pick him out of all the men in the world? I mean what does he have that I don't? Not that I want her to like me or anything, but the fact that she likes Andou is just- All because of that stupid feeling! Who the heck invented 'love' anyway?

Polka once told me it wasn't invented, that it was always there, people just gave it a name

"'Love' is just the name they gave it" she put her finger on her chin and looked at the sky like she was deep in thought "It could have been called 'Smurgle' and it still would have been the feeling of wanting to protect your most important person and putting their life and wellbeing over yours."

"A rose by any other name sort of thing?" I asked.

She looked at me confused like she didn't understand what I meant, I figured she probably didn't so I just dismissed my remark by shaking my right hand in the air. She seemed to get the idea and kept talking.

"You see 'Love' is like… Wanting to see the person you love happy. Also when that person is in pain or suffering you feel like crying the tears that they won't cry and taking their burden onto yourself, and if that person were to smile you'd feel warm and fuzzy inside"

Her eyes closed as a smile formed on her face and she pressed her linked hands against her chest. She spoke as if she were trying to think of someone in particular and describe how she felt when she saw them.

"That's stupid I don't get how you could be fuzzy inside" for some reason it annoyed me that she was thinking of someone else when I was right next to her, and that it brought that kind of smile to her face only made it worse. Who was she thinking about?

"I said 'feel' fuzzy not that you 'are' fuzzy" She pouted.

"Whatever"

"And you call me an idiot."

"What did you just say Polka-dots!" I aimed a fireball at her that I wasn't planning to throw; I was just trying to scare her.

She stared at me and smiled warmly showing she wasn't scared of me at all, is it so obvious that I am incapable of harming her? Oh, right, I had forgotten about her Nullifying Alice.

I waited a while for her to nullify my Alice and make a remark of what a scaredy-cat she was and that I wasn't really going to hurt her, but she never did. I eventually put out the flame myself and backed off.

After that we didn't speak for some time, until she probably deemed necessary to keep talking for whatever reason.

"What do you think love is, Natsume?"

"An overrated, energy consuming, useless feeling..."

"Have you really never been in love?"

"No."

"Really? Never ever?"

"Yes."

"Not even once?"

"No."

"Can you answer with more than one syllable?"

"Of course"

"Why do you always cut off conversations like that?"

"…"

"Are you going to ignore me?"

"…"

"Well then, I'll just continue talking on my own like I always do… You see yesterday at the Special Ability Class…"

And now she's going to start her usual incessant rambling and I'll have to sit through it like I always do… so annoying, why am I always around her if she always ends up doing this?

"…with Tsubasa-senpai to Central Town."

"What! You went with Andou to Central Town? What happened? What did he do to you? I'll kill him!" I'd started walking towards the middle-school building when I was stopped by her hand holding my wrist.

"You weren't even listening, were you? I said Misaki-senpai went with Tsubasa-senpai to Central Town" she said pouting.

I shook my head quickly to organize my thoughts and released my hand from her grasp.

"You seem to be out of it today, is something wrong? Are you too tired from last night's mission?"

"I'm fine."

"That's good; I was worried something might have happened, I even finished all my homework for the week because I couldn't sleep right" her eyes widened and she smiled like an idea had just struck her "I know, since you've been working so hard I'll even let you copy my answers so you can rest during the weekend!"

I smirked at her words "I'd rather not, all your answers are probably wrong."

"And I was even trying to be nice!"

"You don't have to be."

"I know, but it's the least I can do. You're always working so hard and I can only…" she turned her eyes to the floor trying to avoid mine "I can only stay here and welcome you with a smile so that you can relax, so that at least when you are with me you can smile and forget about your worries and the missions and everything…"

At that moment I couldn't help it, her words, without me realizing, made me smile. She stared at me like I had suddenly turned into a circus freak and then a huge grin spread through her face making me immediately understand what I had just done. What she had just done. She had actually accomplished what she wanted, she had made me forget about everything and she had made me smile unconsciously.

"Well there is one more thing you can do" I said trying to turn my worry-free smile into a smug one "Close your eyes and stay still."

After warning me not to try anything perverted she hesitantly complied with my request and did as told. I felt her instantly tense the moment I rested my head on her lap, she was obviously surprised by my actions. I closed my eyes and let the wind carry my remaining troubles away.

My shoulders relaxed when I felt her hand gently stroking my hair.

"I'm not a cat you know" I commented, not out of spite; I meant it more as a joke than anything else.

"Well you do behave like one."

I didn't feel like I had the strength to answer anymore. I was so tired I couldn't even open my eyes so I decided to just let go and take a little nap on my newly found pillow.

I don't think I've ever been in love…

And I don't really get what the whole fuss about it is anyway. I for one don't really know what 'Love' or 'Smurgle' or whatever you want to call it really means or how it feels.

But if I ever do, I just hope it feels… something like this.


End file.
